Becoming Human

November 26, 2017 by Patrick Starks


When I met God for the first time it was unlike anything one would imagine. He wasn’t really tall, nor short, he wasn’t dark nor light, he wasn’t anything in particular, he was everythingؙ—the wind, the rain, the trees, the sand even, you name it, and he would be at least one, if not them all. Most had assumed that God was, in fact, he, but not even we as gods soldiers knew what God truly was, let alone his gender if he had one. God was god, it didn’t really matter what he was to us, although, hearing gentle voices through the wind was enough for any of us to fear what he or she could be if pissed off in any way. It sparked not only mine but everyone else’s curiosity to discover the mystery of all mysteries.

Unlike the ones below, we in the clouds would spend most of our days hunting down the answer of what was, instead of wrapping ourselves in mediocrity. We read from some of the oldest works of literature man or woman had yet to discover—all in the hopes that the answers we sought would shine like the sun. But I found at an early age that not every book had the answer, at least not the ones we held in our angelic hands.

I was never sold on the assumption that God was a male. However, the ones below the clouds we stood would have so many different stories of what God was. it was hard for anyone to believe what was the true fact about him or her. The stories to me were no different than the books I would collect overtime—great, clever, close to reality, yet not reality at the slightest, but of course, they were all fiction.

As the years went on, myself and the others eventually stopped saying the word god in general for we all felt that the saying depicted that God was a male. So, we, I, decided to make a decision for us all, to give God a name that depicted what we didn’t know about him or her. “Nonamay,” short for (no name), this was now the name. And Nonamay shockingly wasn’t offended by it at all. They were just thankful that we finally ridded them of a name that had no meaning to them at all—not even they found the word God appropriate.

“W-w-w-wait. Why don’t we just ask them what their name is?” said a soldier from the back. “I mean, have any of you even bothered to ask…”

No one said a word, they just all gawked and stared at the man as if he were mad. No one ever asked God, I mean, Nonamay a question and got the answer, no one.

“Well fine then, I’ll ask him myself, cowards!” yelled the soldier stomping his way towards a child-like spanking.

Indeed, we were men, but as the saying has always gone, we are all his children.

The soldier distanced himself from the rest of us. He stood in nothing but an empty space of fog and rain, yelling at the top of his lungs to the god we all followed so confidently. And over time the soldier gave up as he walked his way back in shame. The others snorted in laughter like the wild boars they were, and due to the silence that laughter would echo from cloud to cloud. I was furious. Somewhat angry at the men. We all needed answers, and yet Nonamay still played with our minds.

Thinking back to it, I couldn’t even see why the people below believed in Nonamay at all or even bothered to believe that they existed. I mean, Nonamay still to this day hasn’t presented themselves, not a voice, however, all still believed. And here it was I, Nonamay’s soldier, doubtful of why I followed them in the first place. I guess it was the admiration I had for them. To me, and I’m sure to the other soldiers, Nonamay was strong, patient, understanding. But when it came to their life everything had to remain a secret—never giving a soul a reason to judge was their intention I believed for humans especially find anything to judge about the ones they know. And out of all that we as Nonamay’s soldiers had given, and what the ones below never gave, I could never understand Nonamay’s love for them—the humans.

I always thought the humans to be weak, jealous, selfish, and violent little creatures. It hurt to think of the thought that Nonamay would put any of them before us. And Nonamay would always find a way to back them up no matter how many facts I had against them, facts that left no reason to keep them alive that is. Nonamay’s reason was always they same. And oh how sympathetic Nonamay was for such an ignorant species.

He felt that they were learning from their failures, that the violence had dumbed down a lot since the wars they fought in the 1900s, that no matter the struggle they were adaptable creatures, and to Nonamay this was touching—to Nonamay the humans were the greatest piece of artwork thou created—Nonamays pride and joy, we soldiers called it.

Nevertheless, my rebuttal to his plea was that even though the violence between man had faded, sadly their connection with each other had done the same. The humans now let all of their happiness be distilled into now a tiny device—glass and plastic, and within it their greed, their envy, their hate, their loneliness, their insecurities, all in which none ever seem to want to admit they had. With all these things of toxicity at their fingertips, I, we all pleaded to Nonamay that it had to be the works of Skydra, sadly, Nonamay found him innocent as well, just like the humans—a fool he was.

Nonamay and I would continue to have our debates about the subject at hand, some that notably became heated enough to the point we’d both be drenched with sweat by the end of the day, and oh yes, Nonamay could sweat to.

One would call me crazy to challenge our supposed creator, but I was Nonamays general, it was my responsibility to put forward the best interest towards our kingdom. However, I would be telling a lie to say that Nonamay did not get angry with me. With the memories of Skydra still manifested in his mind, Nonamay feared I’d become just like Skydra, one he adored more than the humans ironically, but Skydra was below us now, and further below the humans—this was how I’d gotten promoted to general.

Before I even had the chance to explain my case to Nonamay or apologize for my arrogance, the whole sky would go dark. I became lost. I was now trapped within my own frustrations.

“Here I am baby, here’s mommy, and look that’s daddy over there,” said an anonymous woman. “Jack! Jack… Oh, he’ll wake up soon honey, daddy just went for a little nap.”

Within a few minutes, everything became bright again. It was cold, I could barely see a thing, everything was blurry. There was an odd number of people that surrounded me. But the one I noticed the most was the woman that spoke. I had never met a human before in my life, but there was something about this woman that felt right, and comforting—she was warm like sand on a summers day. She then held me close to her chest delivering to me nothing but kisses of affection. I wanted to yell even louder, like the sirens bestowed in the oceans of Poisidon. I really hated humans, but still, something about this woman felt extremely pleasant.

As traumatized I became from what had just happened. I couldn’t help but noticed that the woman had a heavenly smell to her as well—a remembrance of the home Nonamay had cast me from. However, before she and I could get even more acquainted, I immediately was pulled from her arms by a strange man in turquoise, he looked like a tortoise.

“Alright, mam. Get some rest, you will be with your child again soon enough,” said a strange man.

The man was frightening, I couldn’t tell if he was really human or something else. He had no mouth, no hair. All that I could see was his beady little eyes as they pierced through the glass that surrounded it.

As much as I tried to shake away from him, he confined me tighter into a warm furry substance that made me calm again, and it somewhat reminded me of the wings I use to have. He then took me down a pathway in which felt like a lifetime to go through, although, I was half asleep, so it really didn’t matter. We entered a room to the right, and as we entered it the sound of cries would wake me out of my subtle slumber. I found myself now surrounded by little tiny humans, it was amazing, and horrifying all in one. With all the screaming and hollering I wasn’t sure if I would ever get the chance to sleep again or escape from the situation Nonamay had put me in.

Nevertheless, the next day when I awakened my story would begin in ways I never thought would happen—my test from Nonamay—my path to becoming human.

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