Salsa Contest: Part II

April 6, 2018, by Patrick Starks.



News Anchor #2: Are you seriously going to dance with that thing?

Salsa: Excuse me, but I am not a thing. I am salsa, I can dance, I can sing.

Salsa Dancer: Ha! Say’s the jar of expired goods.

News Anchor #1: Ha! Says the dancer who is no longer Hollywood.

Ms. Lopez: Enough! Let us begin! Romeo put the rose in my mouth.

Mr.Lopez: My love can’t we just do without.

Salsa Dancer: Come along my dear. Everyone steer clear. Everyone have no fear, for that my love for this woman is not like this man over here; my love is sincere.

Salsa: Oh my… Nope, not gonna say it, not gonna say it. But are you…

(News Anchor #1 begins to cry)

News Anchor #1: Oh my heavenly…

Salsa: Great! I knew someone would say it. Everyone happy now. And pull yourself together man, your embarrassing me. Have some balls.

News Anchor #1: But I loved her.

Salsa: Then let us take this love you have and show-er.

News Anchor #1: But I’ve already had a shower. Plus, I don’t think I’d feel comfortable taking it with a…

Salsa: Ugh! No, pendejo! Let’s just get this over with.


Ms. Lopez: Wait… who will be the judges now if the news anchors are going to be dancing?

Unknown: I will!

Mr. Lopez: Oh my heavenly!

News Anchor #2: What the heck is that?

Salsa Dancer: I do not know my tortilla, but the sight of it makes me ill-a.

Cameraman: Um… Should I keep filming this, or blur out whatever that is.

News Anchor #1: Oh my…

(News Anchor #1 passes out)

Salsa: Ha! Well at least this time, he didn’t finish that…

News Anchor #1: Heavenly…

Salsa: Wow… Just wow.

Unknown/Queso: Hello again Salsa.

Salsa: M-my love, how are you. I haven’t seen in a long time.

Queso: I’m fine Salsa, but I am not stupid, I’m not blind.

Salsa: I-I was young.

Queso: As was I.

Salsa: I got stung?

Queso: By what? Obviously, that was a lie.

Ms. Lopez: Okay… Romeo lets go home I’ve changed my mind.

Mr. Lopez: Oh my heavenly…

News Anchor #2: Ugh! It smells.

News Anchor #1: Yes, but by the smell of your beauty Isabella, I could hardly tell-a.

(News Anchor #1 blushes)

Salsa Dancer: Come on my nacho dip, ignore the crap that comes from this mans lips. Let us dance the night away.

Queso: Thank you, but I will be judging not dancing.

Salsa Dancer: I wasn’t… Ugh… disgusting.

Salsa: But my love… If only I could…

Queso: Dj hit the music! Everyone take your places!


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