TUXEDo: Part III

July 14th, 2019 by P. Starks

I never thought it was even possible to go back into the future, and I never thought I’d be doing it with a tuxedo of all things but there inside of hidden room within a closet that smelt of mothballs I stood right next to what I still couldn’t believe was a leprechaun. Why couldn’t I have just been in a sweet ride, like Michael J. Fox, I begged, silently in my head. But the thing that still rambled in it the most, what kept interrupting that fantasy, was that I had a sister who died months after I was born and that my parents never said a word to me about it; it hurt. And it dug into me deeper than what Sensei Shon had done to my sternum during sparring years ago. But me and dad had never told mom that that was why I quit; because out of all the killing I’d seen thus far, mom would’ve probably been arrested along with dad, and due to the circumstance’s she’s currently in, part of me somewhat wished it was so. The thought alone made me wonder where she was… Where they’d taken her? But I guess I was about to find out soon.  

“You gonna be alright little one?” said Sheamus, concerned. “You know… going back won’t be easy…”

 “Yeah I know… But I need to do this, it’ll explain everything… remember,” I grinned.

 Sheamus grinned back.  “Hmph… Just like your father. Alright then little one, you’ll need this watch, I have it already setup to go round trip; to the year you need to go and to the year you need to come back,” he said.

The watch wasn’t like any other. It had no hands on it to tell the time, neither did it have any digital numbers. It was completely blank, completely black all over, and was a bit tight on the wrist too. I looked all over it but couldn’t find a single button to start it. Now don’t get me wrong, I was completely up to date with technology, but this thing was like what seems to be the topic of the day… futuristic.

“Breathe into the screen,” said Sheamus, annoyingly. “You gotta breathe into it.”

And so, I breathed into it and out of the blue digits from it would appear; it was the year my sister died, the year I was born—1989. By my assumption I’d clicked my heels together like Dorothy from the Wizard of Oz, expecting that when I opened my eyes I would be back in the future, no, back in the past, ugh… I feel I really need to have a word with Mr. Fox, but either way I was expecting to be somewhere different from where I was currently. But sadly, I was still looking at Sheamus’s bristled face.

“What do you think you’re doing?” shouted Sheamus.

“Umm… activating the time,” I replied.

Sheamus rolled his eyes. “No, no, no, that’s not how it’s done. You first need to hit the button on the tie to pair up with the watch; it’s right in the middle of it. Once you push it, then flick the tie on your left, not mine, and then it will spin counterclockwise, taking you back to the… no, forward to the… wait a minute…”

I laughed. I guess Sheamus was just as confused as I was. Nevertheless, I pushed the button and all I heard after that was this Beboop Beboop sound; it was ridiculous and stereotypical, but still I had to admit it was pretty freaking cool. Last, I flicked the tie and it would spin like a sideways merry-go-round. My whole body began to disintegrate one by one; first my legs, second my left arm, my waist, and what my dad liked to say, the family jewels. Before I could ask anything else from Sheamus I’d disintegrated all the way up to my neck. And the last thing I heard was Sheamus’s fading voice.

GOO D L U CK… CH CH CH AH AH, it faded, jokingly.

Not long after I’d find myself in the middle of the road, bright lights flashing on me as I lied in a fetal position, shivering like I’d just swam in the Alaskan waters. It all happened so fast, with just the blink of an eye; it was 1989, but I sure didn’t remember it being as cold as it was; cold as the family jewels.

“Hey kid! Get out of the middle of the road?” yelled a man, hanging outside the window of a Ferrari.

It was the standard cherry red dad had always dreamed about. He’d always talked about how bad he wanted one but, of course, he could never come up with the funds for it. Who could in a middle income household, although, a part of me questioned that seeing how the tuxedo I wore and the technology that ran through it had to be hundreds of thousands of dollars just to make. Was dad Bruce Wayne? Ha, ha, nah; voice just didn’t sound raspy enough. Can we agree?

I then walked to the curb and off the road, and the man would peel off with his model of a girlfriend in the passenger seat, instantly finding themselves at eighty-five on the highway. There must have been something wrong with his engine though with all the smoke that lingered. But dad was right; a Ferrari moved incredibly fast.

Nevertheless, what I was there for in the first place was my sister, and the bonus would be finding out more about dad and who was after the Tuxedo.

“Roman… Come in Roman… Can you hear me?” said a voice, static and faint.

It honestly could’ve come from anywhere. But what really sparked my curiosity was how anyone would know who I was in 1989, I mean, I was just a baby, wherever I was.

“Boy! Can you hear me? It’s Sheamus! Look down at your watch. Come in, come in little one.”

I then lifted the watch up to my lips. “Sheamus?”

“No, I’m the leprechaun,” said Sheamus, sarcastically. “Of course, its me. How do you feel?”

“Alright, I guess… A little nauseous but fine.”

“That’s good. That’s very good to hear. Now I can’t guide you myself necessarily, but I will be here as they say, for emotional support. Again, this won’t be easy but if your anything like your father, you’ll be just fine. To get started cough into the watch and it will show you where the waypoint is.”

Emotional support? I mean, what kind of crap was that. Did he think I was some child or something?

“You are and yes emotional support is what you will need,” chortled Sheamus.

It was then I realized that apparently leprechauns could read minds too. But from the future? Yeah, maybe for another story.

I’d walk in a fast pace, then jog, and then repeat it all over again; I didn’t know how much time I really had, so, being quick about what I needed to do was mandatory, still I didn’t know what I would do when I got there either. What was I going to say to my sister who in that time only knew me as an infant? And what would happen if dad saw me? Would it effect the time I was supposed to be in…

For every block I passed, lights flickered and some of the best songs I could remember echoed. I wasn’t far from my destination now, about another block if my calculations were correct or from what the watch showed. But my stomach was growling, and my mouth watered like a leaking water faucet. But then my eyes sparkled with joy; Burger King. By habit I reached down to my pockets to grab my wallet, but it seemed I’d left them in my other pants, obviously.

“Don’t worry,” said Sheamus. “Check the inside of your coat. In it will be a few bills to get you by.”

Eagerly I checked my pockets and my stomach would growl, Hell Yeah. But it said that, not me, so mom never needs to know about it. Anyways, I walked up to the cashier and requested a double whopper plain, with cheese and ketchup, with a side of large fries and Barqs root beer. The cashier rolled her eyes.

“Is that all you want?” she said. “Like, you don’t want any lettuce, tomatoe, onions on it…”

“Nope,” I repeated. “Just meat, cheese, and ketchup please.”

Again, the cashier had rolled her eyes but this time a smile came with it.

“You’re an adorable little kid you know that,” she smiled. “That’ll be $11.98.”

“$11.98! My a…”

“My goodness, that’s a good price,” I interrupted. “Cool it leprechaun…”

The cashier then leaned over the counter with frustration; I guess she was already having a bad day. “Excuse me? What did you just say?”

“N-nothing at all… Just that leprechauns are cool… You know how lucky the four-leaf clover is? You know the story behind it?”

The cashier then looked at me suspiciously as she gave me back my change.

“Yeah sure… Where are your parents?” she asked. “More so, why the heck are you in a tuxedo? Wait do you have a little date? Oooo, who’s the special girl?”

Out of nowhere two more girls that worked with the one in front of me circled around me like a bunch of sharks. They tugged on my cheeks and ruffled my hair, all saying the same thing; oh, he’s so cute. Sarah let’s get a picture.

It was then I ran for my life, but sadly leaving my whopper and fries behind. Still, with a hungry stomach I’d managed to drag myself to the waypoint.

“Here…” said Sheamus. “This is where they arrived first.”

It was a mall. I’d never seen anything like it, bright lights flashing all around it as if it were a season to be jolly. From it I could hear nothing but cheers and laughter. But then I saw him… It was dad and yes, still in a Tuxedo of all things, although, it seemed he was more into variety than just black then; it was solid white, with red stripes traveling vertically down it in every angle. He still had that same exaggerative laugh, that of which I could’ve heard probably back at the Burger King if I listened hard enough. But he was all alone… Where was my sister?

Kids were literally all over the freaking place. I looked at them all but not one of them I felt was my sister. But then dad put on smile bigger than I’d ever seen him do before. He bent down to one knee with opened arms, and out of nowhere a girl with hair like fire, in a polka dotted dress expelled through the crowd with a smile identical to moms.

“That’s her,” said Sheamus. “That’s your sister. That’s Natalya.”

“Natalya…”

As I watched dad lift her up and spin her around, I stood frozen with mixed emotions; I was happy but sad too. She looked so heartwarming, and just the sight of it made me regret never having the chance to have met her. I looked down at the tuxedo I wore and thought, all of this for you Natalya, of course it was sister, look at you, I smiled, tearfully.

“You still sure you want to go through with this?” said Sheamus. “We can always go back… Maybe even find anoth…”

“No,” I interrupted. “I can do this. I’ll be fine… Just need to figure out what to say.”

“You say nothing. The only objective here is to prevent the car wreck from happening. Its from this event they left and afterwards got on the road. It was after this event your dad lost your sister. But if we prevent this event from happening maybe a new answer will transpire.”

“Okay, okay! I get it,” I shouted. “So, what then?”

Sheamus was quite now. I’d call for him at least four or five times but it seemed he’d abandoned me for the moment. Guess it was another one of his so-called lessons he was trying to teach. I must’ve watched dad and my sister for fifteen minutes in joy… Dad was so happy then; it was like torture seeing him now and remembering what he’d converted to in my time. I could now see why mom had been so patient through all those years with him; he’d been in denial the whole time, refusing to believe that Natalya was gone. But there I stood the only one that could do anything about it.

From my peripheral a strange man stood around the corner of the store they were at. I don’t know if he was some pervert or what, but I could see that whatever his intentions were, they were cruel. The man wore black shades, like Wesley Snipes in Blade. He wore a suit of his own, but it wasn’t a Tux thank the lord, still it annoyed the hell out of me all the same. I needed to investigate.

As dad and Natalya walked out from the store with Ice Cream cones in their hand, the man followed, but kept his distance. Dad had looked back a few times, but the man was good; every time dad had turned, he’d find a way to hide himself. But I could also tell that dad felt something was wrong; he’d gone from cheerful to cautious in a matter of seconds. Although, Natalya still showered everyone they passed with blissfulness. If angels ever existed in this life, she was definitely one of them.

It seemed like they’d done all they needed for the day; so, both dad and Natalya began making their way over towards the exit. But when I looked around the man was gone. I couldn’t believe I lost track of him. Without any thought I ran outside of the mall to catch up with dad and Natalya, for wherever the man had gone, I knew somewhere on the road he’d be waiting for them.

When I arrived at the parking lot it was like a maze. What the heck was dad even driving in 1989? I questioned. It was definitely one of those moments Sheamus’s wisdom could’ve come to use, however, he still wasn’t responding to me. I was beginning to believe what happened in the past hurt him more than what he believed.

Nevertheless, I went from car to car, hoping to find a red velvet cake suit and a carrottop, but most I found were cars bouncing up and down, with fogged windows. I’d gotten yelled at by a few of them.

“Hey! Get out of here you little pervert!” yelled a man, from outside the window of his car; it was cherry red.

Both our eyes connected, and frustration would be embedded in both.

“You again,” we both said.

The man then stepped out of his Ferrari, with his shirt unbuttoned and pants unzipped. I guess this what mom meant by I couldn’t see R-rated films.

“Hey kid, where the heck are your parents at?” the man asked. “Your starting to be quite the nuisance you know.”

His girlfriend then stepped out, hair in a mess, mascara sweating down her face, with blotches of red around her neck. For a minute I thought I’d saved her life; for all that had been done to her I’d begin to suspect that the man might’ve been a vampire, but I had no garlic or a cross to prove it. So, instead I stood in front of him, holding both my index fingers up in the form of one. His girlfriend giggled.

“Now that’s just too cute,” she said.

But the man had obviously had enough of me. He grabbed me by the shoulders and then carried me around the parking lot like a ragdoll.

“You’ve been a pain in my butt ever since I saw you in the middle of the road,” he said. “Now where the heck are your parents mini Bond? I’m trying to get my freak on. And it is nighttime if you know what I mean.”

I’d done my best to break free from him, but again, I was just a kid, and didn’t have nearly the strength that he did. I thought, maybe I could push the button on the bowtie, jump to the actual future of my older self, come back and give them man a lesson or two about picking on people his own size but I already could hear Sheamus’s faint answer to it, even if he wasn’t responding.

Though, out of nowhere I’d be freed and when I looked behind all I could see was the guy from the Ferrari being held up in the air like a newborn baby. By his crotch area the denim he wore had become darker, and a sour smell instantly was noticed.

“Okay, okay, let me go,” he cried. “We were just having a little chat!”

“Hey kid, this guy bothering you?” said the man.

I was so speechless I nearly choked on my own spit. It was freaking dad, in that ugly red velvet tux of his, and behind him stood Natalya, hair bouncing in the cold night air like a flame to the wind. She was relaxed surprisingly, which led me reason to believe that dad had done this kind of thing more than once in front of her.

And then she’d walk up to me, gazing up and down at me as she’d circled around. The ice cream cone she had was nearly gone, no, was gone, it just seemed she didn’t care to finish the cone part. She chugged it behind her nearly hitting dad’s tux.

“Hey… honey, you got watch it. What have I told you about that?” said dad.

She smiled, and then she spoke. “I like this one dad. He’s like a mini version of you, and cute too,” she smiled, leaning into me.

I fell backward avoiding what I thought to be a kiss but as I feel back, she followed. Dad had already let the guy go but his Ferrari and half-naked model of a girlfriend still sat waiting for his return. But that was the least of anyone’s concern.

“Alright honey, we don’t want to frighten the boy,” dad chortled, ruffling my hair. “Now young man, where are your parents?”

I shook my head. And Natalya, well… she was clung to my arm as if were on a date; it was disgusting. Again, within my peripheral I could see the man with the dark shade’s, but this time hidden in an old SUV that screamed suspect.

“M-my parents… there back inside the mall…” I replied.

Dad then gave me a suspicious look. And then looked at my sister shaking his head in the ways of father that said, God I’m not ready to let me little girl go. And the fortunate thing about that was neither was I ready for him to; it seemed her grip on my arm got tighter by the minutes. My sister had undoubtedly fallen for me, which meant I was in for a longer night than I thought.

“Say, where did you get such a nice-looking tux?” dad asked. “I’ve never seen anything quite like it. The only man I can think of to make such a tux would be Mr. Buzby down at the tailor shop.”

I cringed on the name. I wanted to tell him, and you killed him to, but that would’ve only blown my cover and would’ve possibly made dad so suspicious that he might’ve even tried to kill me. A faint voice yelled from across the street of the parking lot. I was nearsighted so I really couldn’t tell who it was but the closer they’d gotten the more recognizable the voice became.

“Hey kid! You forgot your whopper and fries,” yelled a girl.

Yeah, just what I needed.

“Friend of yours,” said Natalya, frowning. Dad shook his head in embarrassment.

And then the man with the shade’s stepped out of the SUV, black gloves and all, with looked to be a silencer in his hand.  Things were getting out of control; I needed to be quick.

“Did you see them?” I said.

Dad responded puzzled. “See what?”

“My parents,” I said, pointing away from the chaos that came. “They were just there; they went that a way.”

I grabbed dad’s hand, while my Natalya stayed well… you know, and we made a straight shot for the entrance back into the mall. Once we entered everything would be loud and cheerful again.

“Well… I guess this will explain everything,” Natalya smirked.

And it was in that moment I realized something, a clue. I had to ask again to be sure though…

“What did you just say?”

“What? Everything will be explained?” Natalya repeated.

Yeah that was just what I thought I’d heard. Like daughter, like father.

To be continued PART III

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