Teachers Pet

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February 21, 2018 by Patrick Starks 

TEACHERS PET

Teacher: Alright children gather around, or I’ll make you all write fifty pages of your vowels.

Child #1: But Mrs. Skywalker, I just washed my hands, I looked everywhere, but there aren’t any towels.

Teacher: Then wipe them on your pants, Lance. Today I want to introduce you all to Pepi, a weasel who can dance.

Child #2: But he’s just a weasel.

Child #3: My mom said that they can give you the measles.

Teacher: Yeah, and I wish I had a beagle. What else is new.

Child #1: He looks weird. Why is his nose so pink?

Child #2: He looks smelly… he stinks.

Child #3: Why does he stare at me like that, he doesn’t even blink.

Teacher: Yeah, and sometimes Asha you do not think.

Child #2 Can it do a cartwheel, like this?

Child #1: Can it do like a snake and hiss?

Child #3: Can it do like me and P***

Teacher: Zip your pants back up Asha!

Child #1: Oh look! He’s doing it now!

Child #2: But how?

Teacher: Well, its all because I taught him myself children.

Child #1, #2, #3: You can dance Mrs. Skywalker?

Teacher: Of course I can, they don’t call me sky walker for no reason.

Child #3: Could you show us, please and…

Teacher: And what?

Child #3: With sugar on top…

Child 2: Hey don’t give away all our P**?

Teacher: Excuse me. Did I just hear you say…

Child #2: Pop! Soda Pop!

Teacher: Hmmm…

Child #3: Nice going Mandy.

Teacher: Open your hands child… Oh, thank god it’s candy, and you over there, stop eating that glue.

Child #1: Why should I, don’t feel bl..

Teacher: See what I mean.

Child #2: Eww… he’s turning green.

Nurse: I’ll take this one off your hands Mrs. Skywalker, seems the performance was not to keen.

Teacher: Kind of, but not really.

Nurse: Oh, don’t be silly. Look, Pepi’s done it as always.

Teacher: Oh my goodness… just like yesterday. All of them, sound a sleep.

Nurse: Let me get this one out of hear, we’ll be light on our feet.

Teacher: Pepi, my pepi what would I do with out you. Your mommy’s little teachers pet, my dream come true.